Aston Villa 4 Newcastle 1

The sun shone, the fans sang, the ball was in the back of the net and the world generally looked a nicer place.

And then we changed ends.

Another absolutely shambolic second half showing away from home left no-one in any doubt that our principal target this is season is to maintain our Premiership status.

Michael Owen's fourth Premiership goal of the season - all of them headers - from Milner's left wing in the opening five minutes should have provided a platform for us turn round our poor run of form on what has often been fertile ground for us.

However we failed to engineer a second goal during 40 minutes of the meekest football from the home side that Villa Park has endured since Martin O'Neill took command.

And although we repelled the beginnings of a fightback before the interval, those warnings weren't heeded and as has often been the case, we spectacularly imploded.

Two quick goals after the break sent us into an alarming downward spiral, with Bouma's low shot taking enough of a deflection off the returning Beye to deceive Given.

And almost from the restart, Carew emphasised our inability to deal with aerial balls into the box as he glanced home Young's corner.

That was enough for Given, who departed at that point with what was diagnosed as a groin strain.

With Harper between the posts things stabilised for a while, with the 'keeper marking his 99th senior appearance for the club with two instinctive stops.

However the third goal tooking us to a new level of defensive incompetence, as the ball pinged around the area in farcical fashion before Carew knocked it home.

A change came only then, with Emre introduced in place of the below-par Barton - whose passing had been consistently wayward throughout the game.

However the equally dreadful Smith remained on the field, while Carr continued to fill in at left back to no great effect- Enrique on the bench but not trusted enough to play in his own position.

If Viduka was fit enough to be on the bench, then why he didn't replace Smith is an absolute mystery. He certainly couldn't have been any worse at holding up the ball.

And on today's second half showing, you'd even welcome back Geremi - that's how desperate it was.

Meanwhile Faye sat unused while Villa brought on the burly Harewood to double the physical threat up front - and exposed Cacapa's frailties.

Carr then put the tin lid on a nightmarish second half with a needless handball that allowed Carew the chance to complete his hat trick from the penalty spot.

That was the first spot kick we'd conceded this season and an entirely correct decision - none of the "we wuz robbed" lines from the smogside derby applied here later.

While Mike Ashley looked on from the away end, Chris Mort was accompanied in the Directors Box by Dennis Wise and Tony Jimenez- perhaps our two talent scouts were sizing up which youthful Villans to put bids in for next May.....

1-0 home wins by the smoggies and the mackems later in the day saw us sandwiched by them in the league, as Gareth Southgate's side jumped one place and left us in a seasonal low of thirteen spot.

All we can say is we hope you took advantage of Paddy Power's 12/1 on Owen to score first. It was the only possible consolation from this debacle.

We're spending ours on strong drink, thanks for asking.

So we now have a matchless fortnight to endure without even the distraction of international matches - plenty of time then for more rain forests to be sacrificed, as the world and their significant others lay into the whole damn lot of us in the press.

It's becoming increasingly difficult though to provide a riposte to their taunts, as we continue on a downward spiral in much the same feckless manner as before.

Full match report to follow.

AVFC: Carson, Mellberg (Gardner 46), Laursen, Davies, Bouma, Petrov (Harewood 46), Reo-Coker, Barry, Young (Osbourne 90), Carew, Maloney.
Subs n/u: Taylor, Knight.

Booked: Carew, Reo-Coker.

Goals: Bouma 48, Carew 51, 72, 90 pen.

NUFC: Given (Harper 54), Carr, Taylor, Cacapa, Beye, Milner, Barton (Emre 74), Butt, Duff, Smith, Owen.
Subs n/u: Jose Enrique, Faye, Viduka.

Booked: Butt.

Goals: Owen 4.

Att: 42,640

Ref: Lee Mason (Lancashire).

After the game Kevin Keegan said:

"We played very well early on for a team that has not been having results go for us and we built the platform for a victory by taking the lead.

"Sadly half the second half came and I'm baffled by what happened because it was the same players but we never really got going after the break.

"Their first goal was a hammer blow and our goalkeeper got injured at the same time and when they got their second we had a mountain to climb."